怎样跟谁都能说上话

How to Start a Conversation with Absolutely Anyone

Did you know that public speaking is often rated the number one thing people are afraid of? But while getting up on a stage in front of an audience can definitely be nerve wracking, many people find striking up a conversation one-on-one just as intimidating.
你知道吗,人们最害怕的事往往是公众演讲?站在台上在众人之前演讲的确让人紧张万分,但有些人甚至害怕发起一对一的对话。

Maybe it’s the CEO of your company, a new colleague, the guy in the mail room, the girl from IT, or a stranger in the street. Whomever you want to talk to, there’s a way to strike up a conversation. And the best news is that it gets easier with practice.
他也许是你公司的CEO,一个新同事,收发室里的工作人员或者来自IT行业的女士。不管你想和谁交谈,总有一个方法能让你搭上讪。最好的意见是熟能生巧。

Try these conversation starters to talk to absolutely anybody:
试着用下面的话和任何人搭讪:

  • Skip the small talk.
    不要再用这些衰招了。
    “What’s up with this weather?” and “How ‘bout them [insert local sports team]?” are as bad as cheesy pick-up lines when it comes to starting a conversation. Avoid tired topics. Every situation is unique, so you should be able to find a unique conversation starter.
    搭讪时,“今天天气怎样?”以及“【当地球队】打得怎么样?”已经是陈芝麻烂豆了。避免乏味的话题。不同的情景需要不同的话来搭讪。

  • Ask for their opinion.
    征求意见。
    Everyone has one! For someone you don’t know well, start with light subjects like the food, the music, the atmosphere, etc. “Do you like your Margaritas with salt or without? Do you watch horror movies? Do you like this song?” It’s probably best to stay away from really sticky subjects like politics unless you already know the person very well.
    每个人都有自己的喜好。对于你不了解的人,你可以从一些轻松的话题切入,比如音乐,氛围等。“你的玛格丽特酒要加点盐吗?你看恐怖电影吗?你喜欢这首歌吗?”最好远离艰涩的话题如政治,除非你很了解你谈话的人。

  • Ask for their advice or recommendations.
    征求建议。
    This works very well when commenting on someone’s outfit or accessories, as in “What a great tie! Where did you get it?” or on the food, as in, “Everything looks good. What are you having?”
    当谈论某人的服装或配饰是这一招很受用,如“你的领结真好看!你在哪儿买的?”或者关于食物,“所有的看起来都很好吃,你要吃什么?”

  • Ask them a question — that’s easy to answer.
    提问题——问题要容易回答。
    This is great when you know or find out that a person has expertise in a particular field. If you’re talking to your company’s IT guy, for example, you could ask him whether he’s the guy who installs hardware or software. But avoid asking anyone to explain something super complex or involved; if that’s where the conversation leads, great, but asking a really complicated question up front can feel demanding.
    这一招很适合在你知道或发现某人在某个领域有专长的时候用。例如,如果你和公司的IT男/女交谈,你可以问他擅长软件还是硬件。但不要问特别复杂的问题,如果实在避免不了,那就这能这样了。但记住,问复杂的问题会让人觉得被命令回答一样。

  • Comment on the environment.
    评价一下环境。
    No matter where you are, there are things to comment on: the music, the food, the lights, the guests, and so on. Even if you are stuck in an elevator with someone, you can comment on the music, the speed, the crowdedness, etc.
    不管你在哪儿,总有东西能让你评价:音乐、食物、灯饰和宾客等。即使你和别人挤在一个电梯里,你也可以评价音乐,电梯的速度和电梯的拥挤等。

  • Ask for an update.
    询问进展。
    If you know someone a little or know them by reputation, ask for an update on something you know they’ve been doing, for example, “Oh, Mary mentioned you were taking swing dance classes. How’s that going?”
    如果你对某人略知一二或只是听说过他,问一下他正在做的事,有什么进展。比如,“Mary说你报了班学摇摆舞,学的怎么样了?”

  • Ask open-ended questions whenever possible.
    什么时候都要问发散式的问题。
    If your question can be answered with a simple yes or no, don’t be surprised if that’s what you get. Having follow-up questions ready can also help the conversation flow. If you are asking what kind of food they’re having, for example, you might follow up with, “That sounds good. Do you know what kind of wine would go well with that?” Almost everything can be followed up with, “Why?” (Just don’t ask it too many times and end up sounding like a three-year-old!)
    如果你的问题可以用简单的是或否来回答,得到这样的回答你也不要觉得奇怪了。想好接下来要问什么也能让对话持续下去。比如,你问人家在吃什么,可能会接着问,“好像很不错。你知道吃这个该搭配什么样的酒吗?”几乎所有的对话都可以用“为什么”来承接(只是不要问太多次,这样会让人觉得你是三岁毛孩)。

  • Ask a hypothetical question.
    问假设性的问题。
    These can be great conversation starters, but try to tie them into something happening at the event or in current events to avoid seeming too random. You might say something like, “I just saw this movie where all the laws were revoked for one day. What would you do if there were no laws for a day?”
    这可以作为很好的搭讪方式,尽量与当下发生的事联系起来,这样不会显得很随意。你可以这样说,“我刚看了一部电影,讲述的是有一天,所有的法律都不存在了。如果是你,这一天你会做什么?”

  • Ask about their kids, pets, or hobbies.
    询问孩子,宠物或爱好。
    People love to talk about the things that are important to them. If you know that your boss loves to sail, asking him about his latest trip is a surefire way to get him talking.
    人们喜欢谈论对他们重要的事物。如果你知道你的老板喜欢航行,问他最近的旅行他肯定会和你侃侃而谈的。

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